The deeper I dive into my relationship with Patricia Spurio the more I realize the value of communication for enhancing relationships on all levels. Whether platonic, romantic, family or business, relationships have so much to offer and a great deal to teach us about ourselves. My experience is that communication is an art, which helps create lasting relationships and solid partnerships.
As I continue growing upon my own levels of self awareness, I can observe more habit forming patterns that have been created from my past. At times, I can also witness certain reactions to these patterns. These reactions mainly stem from the need to be right, the need to defend my feelings, a need to control, fear and desire. I see my self wanting to blame the person or people I am with for things that actually have very little or nothing to do with them.
It has taken great courage to realize and claim that nothing and no one outside myself is responsible for my inner state. I am learning that when I go inside and explore the root of the fear, desire, or emotion the natural byproduct is a more stable, coherent energy. From here I can act, instead of constantly reacting on the level of form. From here, I can embrace the art of communication to enhance all of my relationships.
Tips to create better communication between partners:
1. Be sensitive to, and acknowledge my feelings, emotions or the source of conflict (if there is one). You don?t need to ignore, nor fix this, just be aware.
2. Notice, is there is a need to BE RIGHT? What is more important ? being right, or being honest with yourself and honoring your partner or relationship.
3. Express without defending your feelings.
4. Be a good listener. It is a very good practice in all relationships to reflect what you heard in a clean way. What I heard you say was?
5. We all experience life through our filters. Know that how you heard something or experienced something may seem like a ?fact,? however language is a tricky thing and what you think someone meant may not be what they wanted to express.
6. Be compassionate. Giving people the benefit of the doubt is a very powerful tool.
7. Be empowered by not giving up your power. A great mantra is, ?I am responsible for my emotions.? We cannot control our environment, but we can practice and gain control of our reactions.
My experience is of an increasing ability to integrate Unity. Science deomnstrates that all things are connected (See this post Articulating Silence for more info.). Our relationships are a mirror for us to see ourselves (positive and negative). Let me repeat that? All relationships? romantic, platonic, family or business, are presented to us in ways that can help us to grow and become more aware. We must be willing to break our own boundaries and see ourselves and the situations/circumstances that are presented to us very openly and honestly. Before we can even begin to communicate in our relationships, we must first acknowledge our own feelings, and claim the power to witness these without feeling the need to defend them and/or make our partner responsible for how we are feeling.
Check out this video I created as a personal commentary to this blog post:
If we are looking toward our relationship to make us happy we are actually setting the stage for suffering. When we can see our partners as our mirror and take ownership for our feelings we open up our capacity to truly love. When we can learn true communication, and love ourselves enough to ask for what we want instead of asking for what we know we can get, or even worse, fight for what we don?t want, we start to soften from a heart level and see the changes we are looking for in ourselves and our partners.
I have learned more about the art of communication from my relationship with Tricia in the last year and a half than I thought was possible. This is not always easy, but every time I become a little more aware of myself, and of the patterns and past impressions that want to keep coming to the surface. I am noticing that the more awareness I have to see these patterns, the more easily I can create the space to respond in a manner that is more congruent with my true Self. It is these past impressions, that I want to acknowledge. When I can see this aspect of myself, create space and introduce change, I start to notice a heart connection that I believe is the true nature and potential of all relationships.
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Additional Info.:
School of Communication, American University
Business and Community Partnerships, Tips on Building a Positive Partnership Relationship (Click Here)
Source: http://ericcarternow.com/video/communication-between-partnership-relationships/
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